Let me start this post off with saying I know how blessed I am and every night I go to bed I ask God to watch over my family and to keep us safe. I then thank him for all of the blessings in my life including my amazing husband and wonderful healthy daughter as well as the Bella Bear. However, even with all those amazing things you can't help but just have a bad day.
It was hard going back to work after having 3 days off with my family, especially Madison so when I got home from work last night all I wanted was a big smile and some giggles from her. Well she wasn't having it, even if I was holding her she would turn to her daddy and smile at him and "talk" but not for the mommy. Yes she is only 4 months old and is not intentionally ignoring me, however in my irrational working mom mind I couldn't help but think she was upset with me for leaving her all day. Then the small things just mounted on top of that: my teeth hurt (who knows why) so it made talking and smiling to her that much harder, she had 2 meltdowns at bedtime so Brent had to cook dinner and God Bless him it was great, but it wasn't what I had intended to cook. It was just one of those days where I felt like my self worth came down to making a living and nursing. Yes this all sounds so pitiful- woe is me. But some days you just have a bad day. One of the biggest challenges for me now is balancing the working life with the mommy life and some days are just easier than others.
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