Sunday, October 30, 2011

Sunday Blues

I have the Sunday blues.  

Every Sunday it hits me like a train.  I had hoped since I was off on Friday and tomorrow things would not be so bad.  I was wrong.  It's Sunday nights that remind me I get to have my dream job on the weekends only, and it's time to go to bed and wake up to my reality- being a working mom.  

Don't get me wrong I'm grateful to have my job, a job I love and enjoy going to, but if I could be anything in the whole world I would be a stay at home mom.  I work because I have to help pay the bills, but let’s be real.  Don't we all?  If we all had unlimited budgets and could do and be whatever we wanted I doubt most of us would choose to work 5 days a week from 8-5.

When M was born I felt this since of fulfillment, as though if I fell off the face of the earth tomorrow, I would go knowing I had done on this earth what I was supposed to do.  So, when I realize that my reality is being away from her 40 hours a week it stings.  She is growing so quickly, and I have missed so much already.  

I feel as though I have reached that part of my life I was always meant to reach.  Maybe it's being the oldest of 5 siblings or maybe it was just built in me from the beginning, but I was meant to be a mommy.  It is as if my life before marriage and M was just filler time.  It was fun and boy do I have some memories, but this is what it was leading up to.  And even though I must leave my home on the weekdays, I have never been happier and more complete than I am now.

So that is my Sunday night rant.

What will I be for Halloween tomorrow?  A stay at home mom! 

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