"Rocky"

For the past 3 weeks M will not go to bed without me rocking her.  This is not the norm.  For the past year we would just give her kisses and hugs, tell her "night night" and lay her down.  I'm not sure why the sudden interest in rocking or "rocky" as she cries out in the night.  I think she knows that changes are on the horizon.  I had even planned on moving the rocker out of her room at Christmas to make room for her new kitchen.  Now I'm not sure that will happen.

At first I was kind of frustrated, but that feeling did not last long, as I remembered the last time she let me rock her to sleep.  She wasn't but 7 months old when she didn't want to rock anymore- it was a smooth and easy transition.  Last night, I didn't want to put her down.  The way I was holding her and the way her blanket was laid across her I kept having flashbacks of the day she was born.  Everyone says infancy goes by so fast, but what they don't say is how easy it is to forget what it was like.  It is hard to think back to what it was like when M was only a few days/weeks/months old.  Sure I remember the emotions, but it is all a bit blurry.  They say to live in the moment with your children, and I really believe I do, but last night as I sat there rocking her, even long after she had fallen asleep I couldn't help but wonder how much is enough to let it all soak in, was the 30 minutes I rocked her enough, did I need to rock an hour, or in reality can you never really take it all in.  I could have stayed with her all night, but eventually she started to stir and I knew it was time to lay her down in her crib.  I know that last night I truly lived in the moment as I took a deep breathe and let the time, her sweet smell and love wash over me.